


Pain Can't Be Buried, It Always Finds A Way to Resurface

by Dastiel4ever



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-01 00:53:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8600698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dastiel4ever/pseuds/Dastiel4ever
Summary: Andy finally returns but his presence has brought new facts about his father. Robert finally speaks his mind and is able to tell his family everything after being distant and moody. What is this secret? Will it turn this family a part? What will others do when they find out? Hope you enjoy this slightly AU story.





	1. The Reveal

There they all are, sitting in the Woolpack just after they closed. The Sugden’s all gathered at one of the tables.

            “I have had enough of this fighting! Andrew just got home, Robert.” Diane says.

            “Yeah well he should have just stayed away.” Robert says refusing to look at anyone.

            “Yeah, maybe you are right. Maybe I should have stayed away.” Andy says.

            “Don’t be foolish! I don’t understand why you are being like this Robert. You wanted him back just as bad as I did.” Diane says.

            “Yeah, that’s because you wanted him back. I would do anything to make you happy.” Robert says.

            “Robert, what’s really going on with you? You’ve been distant and moody and spend all your time with Aaron or Liv or by yourself.” Vic says worriedly. She goes to grab his hand; he pulls it away almost immediately.

            “You wouldn’t understand. And you wouldn’t believe me. So what’s the point?”

            “The point is we are your family and you are supposed to tell us anything!” Diane shouts.

            “Does this have anything to do with the letter you wrote me?” Andy asks.

            “What?” Robert asks shocked.

            “Aaron gave it to me. Said he was supposed to get rid of it but he couldn’t. I don’t understand why do you blame me for everything?” Andy asks. Robert sighs knowing now there is no getting around this conversation. It isn’t like he blames Aaron; it’s hard enough as it is dealing with his own abuse but to add on to that Robert’s own abuse, he didn’t blame him for giving Andy the letter.

            “You don’t understand what it was like. Being alone in that house with him. I was actually excited to have a brother, I thought, he’d protect me! But instead you became his son and I just became his punching bag.” Robert blurts out. Andy looks at Robert in disbelief. Robert just scoffs looking at him. “Yeah I thought you wouldn’t believe it. Didn’t you notice how eager he was to get you both out of the house? Telling you to go to summer camp while I was there, all alone, every single day with him.” Robert shouts standing up. “You want to see the scars?” He strips his shirt off, scars on his shoulder blades, down his chest and abdomen. He starts to knock over the stools at the bar.

            “Robert! Robert, stop! ROBERT!” Vic shouts standing up going over to her brother hugging him tightly. “I believe you.” Vic says Robert breaks down in tears. Andy stands up going over to his brother.

            “Robert, why didn’t you tell us?” Andy asks.

            “I…I mean I kind of blocked it out. But after…after Gordon’s trial I just kept thinking that I never got the chance to see my Dad go down for what he did to me.” Robert says. “I told Aaron what happened. He’s the only one that knows.”

            “What did he do to you?” Vic asks as she maneuvers herself to look at Robert’s back which is also riddled with scars.

            “It’s more of what he didn’t do.” Robert says, “He did everything, beat me, belted me, burned me, cut me, drowned me, sodomized me, gave me enemas.”

            “That’s torture. He fucking tortured you.” Andy says gripping onto the bar trying his best not to lose his temper.  “I don’t understand why you didn’t tell us?”

            “I told you, I blocked it out but well with what happened during the car crash. Being underwater brought back memories and I just couldn’t keep them buried anymore. Everything fucking triggers me now. A lighter flicking, glasses clinking together, doors slamming.”

            “We could have helped you, Robert. If you would have just told us.” Victoria says.

            “Yeah well he said he’d do it to you if I told anyone.” Robert says.

            “You have other scars?” Andy asks.

            “I have them all over, Andy. He got smart and figured out that the scars had to be where nobody would get suspicious.” Robert says. Andy knocks over a bottle of bourbon, sending Robert into a flashback.

_‘No, Dad, please don’t. I’ll be good; I’ll be good I promise.’ Young Robert said pleading with his father. Jack just shaked his head smashing the empty bottle of bourbon. He grabbed a piece of glass from it, holding it to Robert’s neck; he could feel the boy shake in fear. ‘You’ve been a real pain the past few nights. You’ve really made it hard for us to sleep or let alone get some time alone!’ Jack shouted lifting up Robert’s shirt. ‘You deserve this. Why couldn’t you just be a good lad? Stop being such a cry baby.’ Jack cut Robert in the stomach, not to deep but deep enough to leave a scar. Robert cried out in pain, Jack covered Robert’s mouth with his hand. He grabbed a towel putting it in Robert’s mouth, ‘Bite on this and take your punishment like a man.’ Jack said as he continued to cut into Robert until he had had enough. Robert sinked to the ground, Jack chuckled leaving the room to dispose of the evidence. As soon as Jack left, Robert got up going over to the sink, throwing up._

            “Robert, oh, dear god, I’ll get a towel.” Diane says running into the back room. Victoria is holding Robert who is still shirtless, in fetal position, moaning holding his stomach.

            “Robert, it’s okay. You’re safe now. He isn’t here, he can’t hurt you.” Victoria says. Andy isn’t sure of what to do or how to help his brother.

            “It hurt. It hurt so much. I can still feel the pain.” Robert says.

            “I know. I know it hurt but it’s healed now, you are fine and we are going to keep you safe and get you the help you need.” Andy says. Aaron comes down the stairs seeing Robert on the floor, vomit pooling on the ground.

            “What happened?” Aaron asks going straight over to his fiancé.

            “Flashback, I think.” Andy says. “Why didn’t you tell us, Aaron?”

            “Because he told me not to. I told him to do the exact same thing when I told him about my abuse. I wasn’t going to betray his trust especially since he was finally able to tell me.” Aaron says putting his hand through Robert’s hair this seems to calm the older man. “I saw the scars, but I never asked about them because I knew if I did he would just shoot me down and push me away. I had to wait for him to tell me, until he was ready to tell me.” Diane finally came back with towels, a wet one and a dry one.

            “Let’s get you cleaned up, eh?” Diane says. Aaron and Andy help Robert stand up. He sways still a bit out of it. “Easy there. You alright? You need a drink of water?”

            “Water would be nice.” Robert says. Aaron puts the wet wash cloth on Robert’s forehead, then wiping his mouth. “I don’t really know what happened, I just heard the bottle break and there I was, back in that house, up against the wall of the kitchen.” Robert says.

            “Yeah you staggered back, you kept mumbling telling him to stop, that it hurt. Then you just collapsed and you threw up.” Victoria says. “Scared the shit out of us.”

            “I didn’t scream did I? I didn’t wake you, Aaron, did I?” Robert asks worriedly.

            “No, I was already up. I knew you were down here talking and I just wanted to make sure everything was alright before I went to bed.” Aaron says rubbing the back of Robert’s neck.

            “Was it the bottle smashing that caused it?” Andy asks.

            “Yeah.” Robert says.

            “Well what happened, during your flashback I mean?” Andy asks.

            “He cut me with a glass from a bottle. Four times.” Robert says. Diane moans handing Robert the water bottle.

            “You poor thing. Well I think we should all be off to bed, at least until tomorrow.” Diane says. Robert nods, Aaron helps him up. Victoria lays a soft kiss on Robert’s forehead.

            “I love you.” Victoria says. Andy smiles hugging Robert softly.

            “I’m here for you, if you need me; I’m always here, brother. I love you so much. I know I’m not usually the type to say it but I haven’t seen you in three months and after something like this it needs to be said.” Andy says. Robert smiles hugging Andy back.

            “I love you guys too. And Diane, don’t blame yourself. Please?” Robert says looking at his step mother.

            “Oh, alright, when you look at me like that, how can I argue with you?” Diane says pinching his cheeks. Aaron smiles as Robert rest up against him obviously exhausted. “Get him up to bed will you?”

            “You got it.” Aaron says leaving the three by themselves to process what exactly Robert had just told them.


	2. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert has the strength to tell Chas what happened to him. But with the memories he has been burying suddenly flooding back to him how long before the whole village finds out?

Aaron sits up in bed when he hears the floorboards creak. He stares at the door, the door slowly opens, and Chas sticks her head inside.

            “Did I wake you, darling?” Chas asks entering the room.

            “No, I was up.” Aaron says. “It was a rough night tonight.” Aaron moves Roberts’ hair away from his face.

            “I wish you could tell me what’s wrong with him. Is it about the shooting?” Chas asks.

            “It’s a lot more than that. Look, I can’t tell you, Mum. He has to be the one that does or he has to at least give me permission to. He was finally able to tell his family everything.” Aaron says.

            “That’s why all of them of them were staying behind?” Chas asks.

            “Yeah. This is going to be hard. For everyone.” Aaron says. “But especially him. I just want to be there for him like he was for me.”

            “Is it, did he have the same thing happen to him?” Chas asks.

            “I told you, I can’t say anything.” Aaron says. He looks down at the older man who is groaning. “It’s okay, Robert. I’m here. It’s Aaron.”

            “Don’t let him hurt me. Please. Please, I’ll be good.” Robert begs tossing and turning. He pushes Aaron back when Aaron goes to hug him. “NO! NOOOOOO!” Robert screams, falling off the bed. “Please, Dad, it hurts!” Aaron ignores the looks from Chas. He gets up shaking the man waking him up. “Aa…Aaron?”

            “Yeah, it’s me. You need anything?” Aaron asks.

            “Water. Water, please.” Robert says. Aaron nods standing up walking out the door.

            “Are you okay?” Chas asks.

            “I’ve been better.” Robert tells her. Chas just nods about to leave the room. “Wait, Chas. I…”

            “What is it, love?” Chas asks kneeling down holding his hand. “Look I know we haven’t always got on and I was kind of a witch to you for the longest time but I want you to know that you can tell me anything. After all you are going to be my son-in-law.”

            “I don’t know how much you knew my Dad. But he did some pretty nasty things to me. Beat me, cut me, and pretty much everything else you can think of.”

            “Did…did he rape you?” Chas asks.

            “I guess, in a certain sense yes. He never actually put himself inside me but he did put other things up me. Gave me enemas, wouldn’t let me go so…” Robert sighs turning his head so she can’t see the tears welling up in his eyes, “So I’d soil myself.”

            “How old were you?” Chas asks. She was trying not to get angry and upset and frighten the man.

            “I was 8 when it started. Continued until I left.” Robert says.

            “Well I’m glad you did. But I’m happier that you came back and that you are dealing with this as best you can.” Chas says. Aaron comes back into the room handing Robert the water bottle.

            “Do you want to sleep?” Aaron asks.

            “I don’t think I can.” Robert says wiping his tears.

            “I’ll make us some breakfast.” Chas tells them. She leans down to kiss Robert then Aaron on their heads.

            “Thank you, Chas.” Robert says.

            “I’ll call for you when it’s ready.” Chas says heading out of the room. Aaron looks at Robert brushing his hair with his hand.

            “Did you tell her?” Aaron asks.

            “Yeah.” Robert says.

            “You are soaking wet.” Aaron says. “Come on. Get in the shower. You should take a few days off. Adam and I can handle it.”

            “Yeah good idea. You aren’t going to join me?” Robert asks.

            “Only if you want me to.” Aaron says. Robert smiles pulling Aaron into a hug.

            “Of course I want you to.” Robert says.

            “Let me get some clothes out so we don’t go downstairs in robes again. Mum is a bit tired of that.” Aaron says. Robert’s face turns bright red going into the bathroom to avoid the conversation. “It isn’t like she hates the fact that we do it, it’s just…”

            “Yeah, got it.” Robert says. Aaron just chuckles. “What are you laughing at?”

            “Well, when you are horny you could pretty much jump my bones anywhere.” Aaron says.

            “Anywhere I can lock the door.” Robert says. “I’m not having another person walk in on us. Embarrassing.” Robert says getting undressed, he looks at himself in the mirror his body riddled with various scars. Robert steps into the shower turning the water on to the highest level. Robert puts his head under the water letting it fall onto him. The shower was the only true safe place in his home he felt safe in. They had a house where one bathroom had a bath, the bad bathroom to Robert, and the other bathroom had a stand-alone shower. His siblings never truly understood what went on in that bathroom and in that bath tub. Robert jumps as Aaron turns the water down.

            “Oi! It’s way too hot, you probably burned yourself. Bloody hell.” Aaron says. Aaron looks at Robert just one look and Aaron knew. He always knew when Robert was thinking about the past. “Move up.” Aaron says stripping himself getting in behind Robert.

            “I don’t mind the water hot.” Robert says.

            “Yeah, so did I, but then I realized it was something I could use to harm myself with.” Aaron says grabbing the soap. “Although you just seem to get preoccupied by your thoughts that you forget the water is so hot until it’s too late and you burn yourself.” Aaron kisses Robert’s shoulder rubbing the soap on the older man. “What were you thinking about?”

            “Bathtub.” Robert says.

            “Was that what you were dreaming?” Aaron asks rubbing Robert’s shoulder’s. “I just want to understand what you went through. You don’t have to tell me anything though.” Robert turns around kissing Aaron on the mouth.

            “That bathtub was…it was the worst of the worst. I would dread going in there because I knew what was coming. My Dad’s worn out ties were kept in a locked cabinet along with the enema kit. When I was younger and he could control me better he could just pull me into the bathroom no problem but when I got older and stronger and fought more he’d give me a beating beforehand so I couldn’t fight back as much. He would tie me up, my wrists tied to the water pump. He would turn on the water and I had to watch the bag fill up. He’d stick the tube in me and put the whole bag of water into me. Then he told me to hold the water in until he came back, I tried to. I really did but I never could. Then he’d do it again and again until he thought I learned my lesson.” Robert says sobbing.

            “It wasn’t your fault, Robert. It’s his.” Aaron says hugging him tightly. “You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

            “I’m sorry.” Robert says.

            “Why are you apologizing?” Aaron asks.

            “I’ve just been…I’ve been a pain to be around, I haven’t been looking after you the way I should.” Robert says. It takes Aaron a minute to realize what Robert means.

            “Robert, our relationship isn’t revolved around sex. You’ve been going through hell, having to relive all of this. I’m surprised you kept this in for so long. Listen to me.” Aaron says. “I’m going to be here for you the way you were for me. And if you want sex that’s great, but if not then I’m still going to be cuddling you and comforting you. Because you are my fiancé. The love of my life.” Aaron kissing Robert on the forehead grabbing the shampoo.

            “Boys! Breakfast!” Chas yells up the stairs.

            “Alright be right there, Mum!” Aaron says.

            “Better hurry. I’m starving.” Robert says.  

 

Later that night after Robert has had a couple of beers after kicking it off with Andy:

Robert is sitting at the pub, Chas tried to keep an eye on him but it was a rather busy night tonight so she had to help serve. Adam walks into the pub, he sees Robert sitting in the seat next to him.

            “Hey. Where’s Aaron?” Adam asks. Robert looks at him.

            “Had to go to a meeting. The contractor remember?” Robert says annoyed.

            “Right. Totally forgot.” Adam says. “Why you all alone then? I would think you’d be spending time with your now free brother.”

            “We…we kind of had an argument.” Robert says gulping down the beer. Adam nods.

            “Sorry to hear that, mate.” Adam says. Victoria comes out of the kitchen with her bag in hand. “How many have you had?”

            “About 4 or 5. Why does it matter to you?” Robert asks. Before Adam can answer him,

Andy comes up from behind Robert, putting his hands on Robert’s shoulders sending Robert into a flashback:

_Jack had Robert’s shoulders leading him into the bathroom the bathtub already full of water. Robert gets pushed into the tub, thighs, chest, and head hitting the water. Jack held Robert firmly underneath the water, letting go, Robert coming up from the water gasping for breath. Jack pushes him into the water again, again letting Robert come up for air but only for a split second. Robert starts to really panic this time struggling underneath the water. Robert could feel the water fill his lungs, Jack lets him up._

_“I CAN’T BREATH, DAD!” Robert screamed his voice still full of youth and innocence._

_“Shut up!” Jack shouted once again pushing Robert into the water. Robert let out a scream underwater, starting to not struggle as much the lack of oxygen wearing him out. Jack let Robert go, standing up, letting the water go down the drain. Jack just leaves the room, leaving Robert holding his chest finally able to breath._

“Robert! ROBERT!” Vic screams. “He’s not breathing right!”

“What…what should we do?” Chas asks.

“Call an ambulance.” David says. “Does someone have a paper bag?”

“Hold on, we have some of those in the kitchen!” Marlon says.

“What’s wrong with him?” Vic asks. “Robert! Why isn’t he answering?”

“He might still be in it.” David says.

“In what?” Adam asks. 

“The flashback!” David says. “It takes time to get out of it. Must been a real bad one.” David says being handed a paper bag by Marlon. He puts the paper bag in front of Robert’s lips having him breathe into the bag to normalize his breathing. “Just breathe, mate. Just breathe.”

**Author's Note:**

> I say this is slightly AU because Robert does not have scars on his body in the actual show and his father is not as horrible and despicable but I really felt like Robert was holding something back when talking to Aaron in the woods and decided to turn it into a story. Hope you enjoyed if you did feel free to leave a kudos and comment!


End file.
